Sunday, February 15, 2009

Florida, Italy and im moving... wtf?

So I have no idea what the hells going on anymore. Apparently im moving, sometime in the next half year or so. Not moving out of maryland which sucks, i really hate this state, but whatever. And for spring break im going to go to florida to visit my aunt and uncle and baby cousins. And then my uncle also wants to take me to italy apparently. See and I had no idea any of this was going to happen, but i found out about them all very recently. If Im not able to get my life together Im going to see if I can go live with my family in florida, and just start all over. I dont know what Im going to do.

Yesterday I crushed up pills and snorted them. Fucking big mistake. Wow... my nose burned and I got a huge headache and I felt like I was going to pass out. Usually I would do it again but you know what... this time im not going to. Ive gotten good advice from my uncle and Im going to take it. Or at least try my fucking hardest to. Im done with this shit. And chances are youve heard me say that before... but this time things are going to be different. Yeah I know theres no reason to believe me this time. But Im going to do it. Im not going to stop cutting. Or at least not yet anyway. Just some of the choices I make are bad choices, and I KNOW they are bad choices when Im making them but I still do it anyway. But now Im just going to stop. Just STOP doing bad things. How hard can it be...?

Well Im about to find out. I thought I have nothing left to lose but there are some things... and theres no way in hell Im losing them too.


  1. i would praise you, but i'm not feeling well today. i'm lost for words-sorry. good luck with everything

  2. I'm glad you're doing this, Andrea.
    You know, if you think you're alone in this kind of hellhole, just remember: There's somebody else in the world in a far worse state than you.

  3. I'm glad you seem to want to stop. You know it is hard to quit, no one expects you to get over it in one day. And it is super hard its a battle, and you know GOD will help you, i dont really know if your a christian or if you were, but dude turn to GOD HE will help you get out of the mess you will in..HE gives power to the powerless