Sunday, January 25, 2009

cutting again...

This time I cut just to convince myself I wasnt dreaming or dead or anything. I got carried away when I overdosed. And I was going in and out of reality, and I felt like everything around me wasnt real. And it was scaring me. So I just started cutting my arm and it was very reassuring to me. It reminded me and convinced me that I was really experincing these things.

4 comments:

  1. You is needings a good laughing, Andrea. Moohammed is always laughing, partly because i is naturally fun person, partly is the powerful heroin i cook at home. Perhaps is 90% heroin i no sure, Mo's brain is a bit hazy in these times.

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  2. I get my laughs from overdosing, but Im thinking about doing other drugs. Whatever works I guess

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  4. All I can say is that I know how you feel. I use to do the same exact thing for about 4 years. It wasn't from overdosing that I had lost reality. It was from trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. I had to make sure that I could feel pain. I'd cut and then put something on it to make it burn. Salt or alcohol. That or try to make it wider by taking a knife or scissors, putting it in the wound and dragging it along the cut. I hope you're able to stop because it isn't a good thing but it's done for a reason. I've gone through therapy and that didn't do shit for me. All the guy did was blame my mother for everything I did. Music was the only thing that pulled me out of it. I hope you're able to find that one thing for you.

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